Explosion Oui?

1. Tonight there is a 3,000 tonne tanker drifting towards an oil rig in the North Sea. Seeing as everyone has been hauled to safety I think it’s in everyone’s interests that there’s a fucking massive explosion that you can see from space and someone films it without getting their eyebrows singed. Bugger, they’ve re-started the engines now.
2. The storms here are really depressing. 70mph winds last night that woke me up in the middle of a top dream about trees.
3. David Beckham. How does it feel to know that your only role in life is to be a vacuous living brand? Now he seems to have given up competitive football, what is he for? I think I made this point ages ago, but what are these multi-millionaire football fuckwits gonna do when they retire. Hopefully they’ll all be shipped off to an island like in The Prisoner.

BECKHAM: I am not a number!
LAMPARD: Yeah you are Dave, you’re number 9. On me head son.

Being a living brand, does DB have to edit his own copy as it comes out of his mouth in case he says something off-brand? All modern celebrity is about being a brand or more to the point a bland brand. That’s why Amy Winehouse is such a fakkin’ larf.

4. Watched Tony Scott’s Man on Fire with Denzel Washington the other day. Not going to write a review as I’m oft tempted to since whilst the movie was entertaining enough, it was barely worthy of comment. In the commentary, Scott says he didn’t go for the violent justice ending since he didn’t want the movie to turn into a violent action movie. Hmmm, did that thought occur to you as Denzel’s character said that magic cliché “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”?
5. I don’t worry about this sort of stuff, but you might. Can you catch Salmonella simply by handling chicken? Find out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbhealth/F2671774?thread=3789262
6. Must have missed this artist, Mark Ryden the first time round. Spooky, creepy, brilliant. http://www.markryden.com/index.html
7. That’s yer lot.