An Arm and a Leg

1. Heather Mills you've got it wrong. You say that you're leaving the UK because everyone hates you. This isn't strictly true Heather. The fact is that no-one actively likes you. What have you done to endear us to your heart lately and what was it that you ever did anyway? Showed the world your tits and growler, had an accident, became a martyr, a Diana lookalikey without the gravitas, and then batted your eyelids at a billionaire grieving pensioner who should have known better. Anna Nicole Smith would be proud of you. We didn't like her much either, see ya.
2. Phew. I'm recovering from a night which largely involved me being horizontal, eating sushi and falafels and inadvertently inventing new cocktails. I'd failed to finish my bottle of organic cider and begun on my can of Gordon's Gin and Tonic. Halfway through the G&T I realised my error and accidentally combined the two. Surprisingly it tasted less like the leftovers you'd find on your coffee table in the morning after a hideous house party and more like and extraordinary cocktail. Here I shall name it....The CG&T, the Cider Gin and Tonic. It has a certain ring to it, like the word wino.

3. My god, the falafels are kicking in. I have to run.

4. I'm not sure I agree with the cross pollination of tv shows. Last night there was an utterly awful CSI/Missing crossover. Grisholm and the other fella we don't care about from Missing, circled each other like a snowy owl circles a komodo dragon, each thinking, wtf is going on and who's bad idea was this? Owls, I know they're bastards.

5. Grrr don't send me back emails saying simply 'thanks' or I'll send you one back saying 'that's alright.'

6. It's quiet in the office today, everyone is up North until tomorrow. I sense a quiet before the shit storm.

7. And it begins. Our legal department stupidly think they have some creative influence. I quote.The white lines used on the front/back cover are rigidly straight; elsewhere inside the booklet they are curved. Is there any specific rationale for this difference? What the fuck do you care? Is this a coke thing? Next and this one is great. The colour of the flower is a concern - please confirm who in brand has approved this. Get over it, it's a flower, oh I get it, its an acid thing. Pricks.

8. Why do I get the feeling there is something I should be doing? I'm a liability when I'm left on my own. *Taps fingers*.

9. Clearly Mills is leaving for tax reasons as well.

10. This warms my heart - http://dlisted.com/node/23459
I just think she might have done a little better for herself.