19th July 2004

1. I need a massage. I bruised my cocsix(?) when bounding up and down on the power boat last weekend.

2. I'm writing a short story called Acceptance. It's about Hollywood which is a strange thing for me to write about since I have more interest in vegetables. The story was partly inspired watching a programme about adults with learning difficulties going round Britain on a double-decker bus. It was on the same night as the Oscars which in contrast was repellent. Recently I went to see Adam Hills, an Australian comic who reveals some interesting things about Big Red Fire Engines. It came together like cheese and chutney.

3. On a movie note, I-Robot looks a bit of a hoot and it reminds me that I like the kind of science fiction that is only slightly in the future. I-Robot seems to be interesting in it's social setup. Robots do all the work that humans don't like doing, walking the dog, refuse collection, in fact all the work the west pays its poor underclass to do. Once all those jobs go, presumably they'll either get jobs pretending to be robots or they'll just starve to death I guess. http://www.irobotmovie.com/

Is this the first Asimov book turned film? No I just answered my own question, Bicentennial Man with Robin Williams was based on Asimov.

4. Thank you Chepstow council for deciding to have a firework display at 10:45pm last night. Well thought through you pricks. I have done my worst and written to the Chepstow Free Press, our local rag. Now that I have discovered I can do this online, they shall be plagued like the dogs they are. I can feel a surge of bile rising for the man on a bidet issue.

5. I've been thinking about ASBO's (Anti-social behaviour orders). It's such a British response to the problem. Behaviour is undoubtedly linked to environments and if you leave kids in shitholes they'll kick even more shit out of them and each other. Give them environments they respect and the mule will follow. Full marks to the designers of the Kingsdale school in Dulwich. Speaks for itself really. See the Guardian G2 today centre spread.

6. Today I'm listening to country music on WUMB which might I add is a great name for a radio station. I do wish there was more quality local radio in the UK playing music. I like the idea of driving into a town, somewhere you've never been, turning on the radio and hearing a mighty welcome to ...Hungerford. Radio, another stuffy British regulation ridden bag'o'shite.

7. Saints are playing Swindon on the 7th August in a pre-season friendly, so I will be taking a trip to see the Magic Roundabout, so that unfortunately blows out any trip to UKA live, sorry.

8. I have resolved to walk the Incredible Zac further than I have of late. His dew claw seems to be giving him less trouble than it was and when he doesn't go on long walks he gets depressed.

9. Wow, the Forest of Dean hits Channel 4 news and the Guardian. Why? Sheep shit. After foot and mouth when they butchered about 3000 wild sheep, the Sheepbadgers went and bought a load more but neglected to teach them the green cross code and trampling people's gardens. Blistering stuff eh? What, did you think a story about the Forest of Dean would not be about sheep?

10. This country music is getting me down. Three hours and I want to self-lobotomise.