1. Not sure if you listened to radio one this morning but last night's referee has a website with a feedback section. I'm sure you will all want to give him some honest feedback. Also I noticed that when you submit your feedback, a page comes up with his signature on it...Any fraudsters out there?
2. Strangely I feel better for being knocked out. The tension is gone. I'm thinking about normal things like planning a holiday, getting a new job, finally taking my dog out. Bless him, he was pacing about at 5am this morning so I had to go and let the boy out. I think he's a bit backed up.
3. GREAT NEWS: I have won the Ribena Donkey. They said that I am it's owner although they have said that they would like it to remain in the sanctuary but they have no grounds for making it so. What the hell am I going to with it?
4. Strangely my mate Damien has just called about the football. I told him about the donkey, he went nuts although this is right up his alley. He's off to ring his people.
5. I have already named my donkey. He will be called Emile.
6. I have just got off the phone with Damien who thinks he can get enough formaldehyde for the weekend. Damien says this donkey thing is an amazing piece of luck. I agree the irony and the timing are exceptional.
7. Damien has just phoned me back. He's decided to paint a George Cross on it's back; Ironic in itself and have it dissected through all the axis of the cross. We must move quickly though.
8. Ribena seemed a bit nervous when I asked them where the nearest abbatoir to the sanctuary was. "Are you going to kill the donkey?" were their precise words.
"I think you did that when you put an animal up for auction." Was mine. "Besides Emile will be immortalised."
9.5 The lawyers are involved. Damien says fuck the lawyers, although Damien says fuck to alot of things.
10. Ribena have called. The news is not good. They say that the keeper of the Emile is threatening to poison it rather than let Damien have it. Apparently he's very anti modern art and has even entered the Not The Turner Prize competition with a chintzy painting of the donkey in question!! We have a stand off and it doesn't look good for the donkey.
10.2 Damien has been in contact with Ribena. Apparently the donkey promotion thing is some tie in to the Shrek 2 movie. The producers aren't happy but have pointed out that in the movie the donkey turns into a white horse. I think Damien's mind is in overdrive. He told me that he's told Ribena in no uncertain terms that "Either way, something with four legs is gonna die today." I think he's upset about the football. He keeps going on about the artist as the ultimate referee.
10.36521. They have offered us tickets to the Premiere of Shrek 2 in London next week. Apparently we are sitting next to Eddie Murphy but only if we drop this donkey thing. Damien has agreed since we both love Trading Places although he did point out that he's gonna punch Mike Myers in the face if he gets the chance and who can blame him?
10.53f/rtw I have decided to donate Emile to a French children's charity. Imagine the fun they can have riding him into the ground.
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