1. I'll get straight to it. Last night/this morning I had a fairly chaotic dream. The Incredible Zac had turned into a rat and then turned into a fruitbat and then I lost him. Hmmm...should I change my username to Ratbat? Then the dream changed, I don't know how or why but I was in a hotel room with Liv Tyler She was naked save for the most beautifully intricate floral tattoo that ran across her left breast down to her thigh like Miss World sash. She was also amazingly soft and rounded to the touch, not something I would normally associate with Liv Tyler, but who knows how my imagination works? And then I lost her. The most beautiful thing in the entire fucking world and I let her go. I suspect that if I ever was in a relationship with someone I found incredibly beautiful I'd be scared to death.
2. Spoke with an old friend last night who told me that someone we used to work with was stopped boarding a flight to Portugal a couple of weeks ago because he was a suspected football hooligan. Apparently he's now been banned from attending a footie match ever again. It's strange, we just assumed he was a pisshead who fell over alot. That explains all the black eyes.
3. We have a lecturer here who has been banged up by the Slovenian authorities twice now because they keep getting him mixed up with a master criminal wanted by Interpol. He looks nothing like the slag in question and has a different name. Apparently the geezer even has a big tattoo on his arm. If it were me I'd track this fella down myself. A woman in my office just said that she used to get the words deed poll and Interpol mixed up. She went around saying that she wanted to change her name by Interpol. Hmmm...not a bad idea actually.
4. I'm disappointed. It's results day here at the University and I haven't seen one student crying in a corridor.
5. Ha ha ha, I've fixed my calendar problem. Hell its only taken two days. It's funny how such nerdy things can make me so happy.
6. My Liv Tyler thread reminds me of a story that a friend told me once. He went for an interview as a curator at the British Museum. After lots of questions they finally got to the big test. Nick, could you go to the table over there and bring us back that teapot. Please pretend that it is a highly valuable teapot so show us how you would handle it. Nick walked over to the teapot and sized up the situation. With the utmost care and with both hands he gently picked it up and tip-toed back across the room. With even more delicacy he put it back down on the table in front of the interview panel. A voice came from the panel. "Tell us Nick, do you think picking up an antique tea pot by the handle and the spout is a good idea or a bad idea?"
7. Why Liv Tyler anyway? I've seen her in the LOTR films obviously and one nice film set in France. I think there is a bit of cross fertilization going on between her and a woman who's on Deep Space Nine, which I don't even watch.
8. This seems weirdly appropriate. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3879447.stm
9. Anyone watch the Stress Test on BBC2 the other night. It was all about Ian Holloway, legendary Bristolian and QPR manager. He once said. ".....My day didn't start very well.....the Holloway household had to have our dog put down unfortunately, but that's life. I've just said to the lads: 'You're born and you die on a date. You've got to work on the dash in the middle'....."
and another on whether his team plays sexy football.
"To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee"
10. Bet he wouldn't say that about my Liv.
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