Catherine Zeta's Bones

1. Listened to a programme on Radio 4 last week about reality TV. I can't stand these things; apparently there is something on this week called My Breasts Are Too Big. People trust television and everything that is associated with it mainly because we associate it with good. Somehow we still associate TV with a 1950's golden age. But TV is entertainment and it is often not in its interest to show you anything that makes you uncomfortable, therefore it re-inforces the belief that TV is good. Adverts strengthen this feeling. The difficulty comes when you realise that TV is not all good. The TV industry is often poorly run, underbudgeted and unprofessional. The nature of the industry means that the bottom line is cash and therefore anything like support for the people, or the families of people who appear on the shows, is likely to be and is often poor. There is an increasing argument for some kind of regulation in this area. Maybe someone will die as a result of one of these shows or more than likely sue them to death, and things will change.

2. Personally I believe that Catherine Zeta Jones should be tested to see if she is psychologically well enough to stand trial. You can't tell me that if you have that much wealth, you can't get decent security. I don't suppose she even answers her own phone. If movie stars are prepared to flirt with us and whore themselves for the huge sums they do, then they need to accept that there will be a few psychotics out there amongst the people who do worship them. You gota take the crunchy with the smooth. Along with Hopkins, I have a somewhat sceptical opinion of CZJ and their new found Americanism, only because they seem to turn on the Welsh when it suits their purpose. Come on you bitch, drag me through the High Court.

She is quite fit in Deception though.

3. Richard Madeley strikes again. and you've got to feel sorry for him. He's always struggled to keep his language and culture skills up to date and now the lesbians have rounded on him. From the article, here are some of the terms you might like to use when addressing bush pilots everywhere.

Boy/boi - boyish gay man or boyish lesbian

Heteroflexible - straight person with gay 'mindset'

Hasbian - lesbian who's gone straight

4. I think Michael Owen will go to Barcelona, not Real. I think Real are returning the favour that Barce did for them with Beckham. Owen and Larson up front will be an awsome combo. I've been saying for a few years that Owen needs to go and play somewhere else, even if it was Celtic, just to score a shitload of goals and get his confidence back. Louise should really pick herself up and get back on that horse too.

5. What can I say, I am the Scrabble King (pictures to be posted later. Can you play Scrabble online, in leagues, I might just have to start. I guess it's fun until it starts being geeky. Mart said to me last night, "You must read this book, it's right up your street"
"What's it called?"
"Geek Love"
"Sorry mate, already read it."
"Bugger." he said. But it did remind me how much I loved it. It is possibly the darkest book I've ever read.
Geek Love by Katherine Dunn

6. Recently I have been thinking alot about writing a new book and I think I've come up with something that I'm happy with. I'm still working through the concepts, but it should be something I can pump out with greater speed than previous ideas.

7. Other books I would thoroughly recommend if you like or would like to start reading modern fiction are:

Under the Frog - Tibor Fischer
The Thought Gang - Tibor Fischer
Carter Beats the Devil - Glen David Gold
Berlin Noir - Phillip Kerr (not exactly mf but still quality)
The Kinky Freidman Crimeclub + More Kinky Freidman - Kinky Freidman
You Got Nothing Coming: Notes From A Prison Fish - Jimmy Lerner
Atom - Steve Aylett

8. Nooooooooooooooooo, I've just learnt that Diaz is gonna marry Timberlake. I'm too late and now he get to watch while she looks at her own booty and dances.

9. I have a provisional title for the new novel. It will be called Underbelly.

10. My breasts are too big.