Just Alot of Wind

1. A very boozy weekend starting with a session at Chez Tarquinius on friday for Big Brother and beer. Saturday was dirty and frustrating until the evening when I retired to the middle of nowhere for muchos protein enrichment, more beer , wine and Pernod. Suffice to say my head yesterday morning felt like fucking punch bag.

2. Instead of enjoying the glorious sunshine, the sofa, some bacon fries, a large fruit smoothie and the test match provided cold comfort for my aching head. I also watched Cold Mountain. Directionless, depressing and disappointing stuff from Minghella. Not his best and frankly I expected the film to be more beautfully shot than it was. I didn't even know Ray Winstone was in it till the credits rolled, doh.

3. The FA is in a crisis of its own making. What has shagging the office bike got to do with anything anyway. I agree with David Mellor on Radio 4 this morning in that why have some bloke who's experience to date is managing Doncaster Rovers FC administrating and regulating a billion pound industry? This will be good for the FA in the long term.

4. Architrave is one of my favourite words and 53630th most used word in the English language. Fucking is 3048th and cunt is 18636th. The people who run the Wordcount Site have obviously never worked in a Tesco's distribution warehouse just outside Newport where those two words are the second or third most popular. "Fucking fuck off you fucking fucker" being my fave. Use an adjective and you probably went to private school.

5. A man with greater wisdom, more moral fibre, guts, and bad jackets than anyone of us. My hero

6. Hello Charlotte my darling. Sorry for texting you back at 1:30 in the morning but I was unaware of my place in the multiverse by that stage. You were probably still up and wrestling a muscle bound Cuban at that time anyway.

7. Another Yahoo pick I have plundered is The Illustrated Smiths. All the best Morrissey lines turned to crayon and felt tip. Truly grilliant.

8. I have finished my Worlds Wildest Police Chase Story but I am bereft of ideas for a title. I will publish here later today.

9. Hooray, the concrete has arrived and tomorrow the project can begin. By friday, this town will have it's very own full size wind turbine replica. I shall name it after a Fall track, "It's just alot of wind."

10. Disappointed to hear some crank from the Keep Britain Tidy campaign, decrying graffiti. If they stopped cleaning it up, it wouldn't cost millions to remove would it? What would be easier would be if we licensed the good artists and shot the others at dawn. Here's the best in the west, Banksy and here's a link for you lot at UKAuthors to my story about grafitti. Night Fishing