The harvest truly is plenteous, but the laborers are few.

1. I'm feeling full of dough and starved of adventure.

2. The new trousers are proving a success.

3. I'm writing an article on Napster, I was gonna call it 'More tracks than Amy Winehouse', but I resisted.

4. Is it wrong to go to a harvester? http://www.harvester.co.uk/the-earlybird.html - The original spit roast, count me in! I'm emailing them now.

5. One day I'll tell you about my night out with the Bafta Award winning Ross Kemp, to give him his full name.

6. Dear Harvester,

I'm interested in bringing my girlfriend to your restaurant. She's a great fan of your spitroast and has mentioned on several previous occasions that your kitchen staff did a marvellous job filling her up. She did mention that the dips she was offered were somewhat salty but that once she had a few mouthfuls inside her, she'd got used to it. Anyway, my good people, any chance of a table and a decent spitroast at 7pm on Wednesday?

Yours Ever-Roastingly

Timothy Arbuckle III

7. I might as well make a Harvester prediction now.
i. The service will be dreadful.
ii. The food whilst plentiful, will be poor quality
iii. I will respond to the question 'Have you been to a Harvester before, with 'Yes, but it was dreadful, I hope you can do better.