1. I played an entire round of golf in my dream last night. I have no idea what I shot. I'm actually quite good at golf (my handicap was 10) but I refuse to play anymore. I just can't stand all the associations it has. What drags me in everytime is the velvet curves of the green. I think golf courses are beautiful things to look at and be on, I just wish they had a greater purpose. I wonder if there is a link between golf course design and classical concepts of Elysium and Arcadia?
2. My friend wants me to go surfing on Saturday. Mmmm. 20mm of rain with a 20mph NEasterly. Thanks but no thanks. Where's my sense of adventure? I believe it may be just outside a pub in Hotwells.
3. How I laughed when Italy scored the winner and then realised that they had been knocked out. Fresh schadenfreude.
4. My uncle is retiring this year. He's worked for a Mercedes dealer for years in Southampton. They've only gone and got him some tickets for the Euro 2004 Final. How nice, lets hope England get there.
5. I need a new job. My contract is at an end and all they've offered me is a six week contract in the purchasing office. I asked them if they hadn't got anything that involved pumping formaldehyde through my veins. It might have been more lively.
6. Should I post my CV on UKA? One of you motley lot could find me a job I will enjoy surely?
7. Jobs I can't do.
Fireman - I'm hunky and good looking but can't stand trauma.
Undertaker - See above
Scientist - Check my posts
Professional footballer - Not thick enough
Corporate Whore - I feel so used!
8. Jobs I can do.
Submarine washer - I remember reading that in the Beano as a kid, one of Dennis the Menace's dream jobs
Kitchen fitter - Martin hasn't complained...yet
Project manager - Lots of people complained when I did that mind you.
Data Analyst - You don't know the trouble I seen.
Football Pundit - My armchair is so comfy.
Games Reviewer - Send me your wares!!
9. Hmmm...dilemma. Should I take a radio with me to the Chilli Peppers tonight so I can listen to the football?
10. Look out for some Haute Couture Haiku...
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